Mom Explains ‘Toxic’ Utah Mom Culture as a Non-Mormon

Being a mom at the playground is awkward enough without feeling like you are in high school all over again. That’s what it sounds like it might be like for some moms in Utah who aren’t Mormon and who aren’t part of the little mom cliques of modern Mormon women. One user shared as much on TikTok, in a video where she explains that there is a “toxic” mom culture in Utah.

According to her, if you aren’t Mormon, you are more likely to be shut out of playground conversations or downright ignored by other moms. Sure, that can happen elsewhere. And honestly, as many parents can attest, it certainly does happen on other playgrounds. But this mom says Mormon moms in Utah who know you aren’t part of their faith or community almost instantly write you off as a potential new mom friend.

The mom says Utah moms act differently if you aren’t Mormon.

@shelbykblackburn This OBVIOUSLY does not apply to everyone in the community! Just my personal experience after living here for 2 years as a non Mormon 🤷🏼‍♀️ #utahculture#utahmoms#toxicmoms#LDS#mormonmomtok#mormonculture#momstorytime#storytimevideos#judgmental ♬ original sound – shelbykblackburn

In her TikTok video, the mom explains that “we need to talk more about Utah mom culture.” According to her, Mormon moms seem to gravitate toward one another rather than anyone else. As a result, moms who aren’t Mormon are left in an uncomfortable position in public settings, especially if their kids interact with the kids of the Mormon moms.

“If you are not Mormon, it feels like everyone around you knows, and they’re judging you for it,” she says.

She then explains that there are “a lot of moms” at most parks where she goes with her kids. The TikToker says that one way the other moms can tell she isn’t a Mormon is because she isn’t wearing garments, the special Mormon underwear, under her clothes, which you can tell by looking at her. She also has tattoos that are a giveaway, according to her.

“They know when you’re not one of them,” the mom adds in her video. “The second I walk into that environment, I immediately feel judged. The women will look you up and down, head to toe, and then start talking to the other women.”

Someone with similar experience in Utah commented: “Thank you for this video. Being a non-Mormon SAHM in Salt Lake makes you feel crazy. I had moms be nice to me but then push me to go to a church event. Even positive interactions felt transactional. It was really isolating.”

The creator of the TikTok also shares in her video that she has observed Mormon moms at the park not looking after their own kids. Which, according to other moms who commented on the video, isn’t totally wrong.

“Grew up in Utah and moved out of Utah as a new mom,” someone shared in the comment section. “Whenever I go back home to visit I’m so much more aware of the judgement and lack of care for children around them. It’s wild.”

A mom who is Mormon also commented on the video and shared her perspective. Apparently, not all Utah moms who are Mormon are as judgmental as the TikTok creator thinks they are, but it does happen.

“I am a Mormon and I feel the same way you do,” the other mom commented. “Those women are groups and if you don’t fit their group you’re not welcome. I have decided to walk away from this. They are so judgmental. My friends are not Mormon and they are the best. I am in Utah too.”